i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
