My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.