where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"