I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea