sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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