"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm passing your future prison.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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