so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
