Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
