wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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