There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
