$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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