Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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