In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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