He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize