I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
