This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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