I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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