I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
