i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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