Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
