How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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