i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
