To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
