Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
