Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
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The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
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I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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