So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
