Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
