so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
