And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
