"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
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watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
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I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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