Tell her she can't have a vagina
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
