Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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