I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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