Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize