This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
