She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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