It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
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she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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