I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
