And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
