There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
