Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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