Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize