I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
