you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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