Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just blew my weed a kiss
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Someone signed my nipple.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
