the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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