I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
