Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize