yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize