I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I think I am morally bankrupt
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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