a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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