I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It's rum buckets o'clock
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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