dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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