We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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