if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize