The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
