Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
When are your genitals available?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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