hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
