Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
